Battle of Inner Personalities - Have My Failures Lead to My Success?

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I've got a real strong creative urge going on the last few days. Which should be a blessing but it is in complete conflict with my stern, task master of practicality...work needs to be done to make money. Oh, the money thing again. Yea, the money thing and the creative thing are battling it out. I'm completely out of sync right now. Here I am typing away while just off my right shoulder sits my laptop suspended in mid-task, waiting for me to complete something more directly related to financial survival. All I want to do is paint something, create something. Anything, I don't care.

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I used to dream of wealth, and a flamboyant life style I've seen in movies and actually participated in on occasion as being the norm in my life. But now I can't imagine what it would be like to live that way, how weird it seems, how alien. I might be caught saying or thinking that things just didn't work out. I had this thought today that from other's perspective my life seems pretty good. I would even venture from my wife's perspective we live a good life. Sure she can also dream of bigger and more elaborate life style, but again would she and I both be fish out of water? In a way I wonder if you get what you sub-consciously really want out of life or do you just become comfortable with where you get? Can you even be a fair judge of your own position in life? Maybe I am a success and just fail to recognize it.

I read an article the other day that failure is the most important ingredient to success. Yea, I've heard this before and I've said it many times. The angle taken in this article was your chance will come around but you have to have your hand in the air to be picked when it does, so just keep you hand up. I might of paraphrased that poorly so here is the link to the article: Scott Adams' Article

I feel I've had my fair share of failure and no lack of sticking my hand up to be picked. I'll will say it is frustrating to recognize that it is a numbers a game and you just have to wait for your number. Of course what do all those poor saps that never achieve success have to say about failure...didn't work out to well for them. On many a tomb stone should be carved "He died with his hand in the air. He got picked for the wrong thing one more time."

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